To the People I Loved in Jacksonville

This is an open letter to the people I loved in Jacksonville. It gave me no greater joy than coming to Jacksonville and planting the church. You all meant more to me than you know. It was the very most excruciating thing I had ever done to that point when I resigned in front of you in April of 2006. I was leading the church plant, and then our beloved church for 8 years.

I cannot describe the emptiness I felt not telling you the real reasons why I was forced to resign. If you were to ask those who were in higher authority at the time, they would tell you I was no longer sufficiently gifted to lead the church. This was a common go-to whenever they wanted to eliminate someone without just cause. I knew it was bogus, but I could not endure the tension any longer. There was a tumultuous history during my tenure in that group of churches from the beginning. I was not a “franchise” kind of guy. Neither was I afraid to speak up concerning heavy-handed leadership. They didn’t like that.

Now 17 years later, you may get a better understanding. I shielded all of you from what had been going on behind the scenes while here in Jacksonville. The intent was to protect you as a father would protect his children. That’s how I felt about you. In the end, going into obscurity and silence seemed right because of not wanting to bring turmoil, strife, stress and a possible church split to the people and the church I loved so much. If I had to do it over again, I might do it differently. But I did what I thought was in your best interest at the time.

While I am thinking about those years with you, I am painfully aware of the part I played in forwarding the message of what I call, “The Gospel Plus.” My only response to this can be, “Will you please forgive me? I know this may seem insufficient, but it’s all I can do at this point. None were more affected than my wife and children. Especially my first-born son, Jonathan. (For more on how this teaching affected our teens who are now adults read “Jonathan’s Appeal”) I have also written several documents concerning my time in this ministry which can be found in the blog tab. Including this open letter.

You can read my story in a short and long version to understand better where I have been for my entire life. The years concerning the group of churches we were in, and especially the years in Jacksonville. I am very honest about what I saw, heard, and experienced while trying to be generic and vanilla. (The things I shielded you from) I have no desire to “call out” anything to do with this ministry presently. It’s all in the past. But I will be talking about it to help others.

Another thing I want to make clear. I am not trying to persuade anyone from leaving your current church. I genuinely love you all and want what YOU FEEL is best. I’m done trying to figure out for people what is best for them as I used to get a steady dose of that from others.

I have gone through 17 years of hell since I saw you last in April 2006. These events are chronicled in life my story as well. You will find a man that went from ashes and dust in 2006, to much worse over time. From the point of total despair in 2006, I grew more and more angry and bitter to the point of being hard, mean, and harsh with my wife and family. Then onto throwing myself in business so ferociously to stay consumed trying to hide the pain and agony. Then to a point of losing my mind and leaving my wife with no justifiable reason at all. Months later falling into such a deep dark cloud of depression, I was emotionally, spiritually, and physically paralyzed. I was to the point of wanting to take my life and end it all. Then within months being rushed to the hospital with a severe case of sepsis fighting for my life as the doctors were losing me due to septic shock. Within days of this and coming back to consciousness the doctors told me I had an incurable cancer called Multiple Myeloma. Then two weeks later, as I was in the hospital for the second of four consecutive times 30 days apart battling sepsis, and this 98% invasive cancer, I thought this was the bottom. No, it wasn’t. A few days later, Laurie had the horrific task of coming to the hospital in my weakened and very sick state to somehow tell me we had lost our son Jonathan just hours prior. As you can only imagine, I truly wanted to die. I was begging for God to take me. Every day that went by seemed like a thousand years of moaning, agony beyond what I could bare. Each day moaning out to him to take me now, and why didn’t he take me rather than my son? I am merely trying to give you a picture and understanding of where I’ve been.

The good news is this. God has miraculously turned me 180 degrees within the past few months. He has given me a newfound joy of my salvation. I can also tell you he has given me a grand vision of ministry helping others where I was. Many people hurting, lost, and without hope. I can say that with confidence both with facts and experience in talking to many from my former group of churches. I am not just talking about little bumps and bruises. It makes me keenly aware that these hurting people are out there from other church backgrounds as well.

If you would like to know more about where I’ve been, and what God is doing in my life now, you can go to safeharbornet.com. As of now, in addition to this open letter. many documents have been written as I cast the vision and communicate what God has led me to do.

If what I have written in some of these docs disturbs a few I am truly sorry. But at the same time, I would not change a word of it as it is factual, experienced personally, and verified by many others having similar experiences. I have talked with former Pastors from Florida (And in other states) that a lot of you would know. If you could hear where they are now it would break your heart. Am I, and these other men responsible for where we are? Yes, to a large degree. But that doesn’t mean the source of where they are now excuses what I consider to have been abusive leadership from the top historically. If you only knew what was going on behind the scenes as I did, it would shock you. I was involved in some of the most critical conference calls and personal meetings with the guys at the very top at monumental junctures in time. Recently I realized there were two main reasons God brought me to this group of churches. One was planting the church in Jacksonville, and perhaps even more importantly using me in very key, critical, and delicate situations to be a voice with fearless abandon without regard for my own consequences on behalf of the weak. There were so many other ways I opposed these leaders necessarily so. (Again, you never knew any of this)

One last thing I will say to you. Regardless of my experience in the past with this group of churches I still love you all very much. I am also very happy if you are in a good place right now both personally and your church involvement. I would ask you to pray for me on many fronts. Cancer, my continued zeal for the Lord that I once knew, my family, and the vision and ministry I believe God has called me to launch called “Safe Harbor Network.”

I am currently in dialogue with 3 other former church leaders that were once a part of this group of churches. I have chatted with several other former leaders still waiting for their feedback getting a multitude of counsel. One thing I want to say, there may be a Safe Harbor Lighthouse church plant in the coming days in Jacksonville. However, as we launch primarily on the internet first, if people from the greater Jacksonville area want more than just an internet-based ministry, we may consider a local expression of SHN. This is the premise the ministry will be built.

I appreciate everyone and wish you Godspeed. I will leave you with the most impacting verse to me in the bible which I tried so desperately to get across to you. Romans 5”8 – “But God demonstrated His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

With much love, your former Pastor,

George