The Art of Prideful Humility

Well, that's a different title for a piece, isn't it? The first order of business is to define what is meant by prideful humility. The meaning I will associate with this term is derived from years of living under the leadership of a group of churches. There was a constant public emphasis on humility. But that's a good thing, right? Not necessarily so. Especially if the highest leaders regularly commended each other for their humility openly during large gatherings and conferences. Humility was often expressed dramatically in body language, emotions, and jargon. You could say that this familiar jargon was the trendy thing to talk about. It almost seemed planned.

The public perception to the masses, these men were the humblest that walked on the earth. At least according to what they said about each other. After all, one just can’t stand up in front of a large crowd and proclaim, “Ï m the humblest man I know.” There’s a line for everything. But…What someone can do is proclaim he is the most prideful/sinful man he knows. And that was proclaimed constantly. But think about the implications of that statement being repeated publicly. That in and of itself is the essence of prideful humility. Projecting yourself in this manner, leads the hearer to conclude, “What an incredibly humble guy that is.” But if you really were the most prideful man you know, your pride would prohibit you from saying that. Instead of using the word “Art,” I could have chosen to entitle this piece “The Deception of False Humility.” But I think the ability to project this false humility on a large-scale basis requires a certain rare gift. The dissemination of this erroneous perception is where the rare gift, or “Art” comes in.

The first reaction to the title about prideful humility might be, “False Humility is everywhere. What’s the big deal?” It's a very big deal, as a matter of fact. Where the art of prideful humility is being promoted, the discussion amongst the constituents many times revolves around this false humility. If someone continues trying to zero in on humility with the wrong motives, the natural outworking of this error is calling everything pride. Let me clarify something before we go much further. Of course, everyone should be pursuing godly humility. At the same time everyone should be doing all they can to see pride in their lives and deal with it. It's sad that I need to make this distinction, but to make sure you understand where this goes horribly off track, I need to make those statements. Rather than seeking true humility, leaders position themselves to possess authority that is unbiblical. This authority comes from the fact that anyone who challenges them is proud and arrogant. This makes leaders who have an appetite for power, possess a built-in defense for anyone who would challenge them.

I remember transferring to this group of churches. It was evident someone with a strong gifting or personality was quickly branded as prideful and arrogant. The good Lord knows I needed help in these areas, I readily admit that. What suddenly began to happen in me is that my dreams and calling from God were slowly and systematically being destroyed. Simultaneously, the stature and power of my leaders grew larger every year that went by. As this erroneous doctrine begins to permeate down through the ranks, people can become intimidated if they should dare even think about raising a question to a leader. These good people were conditioned now to immediately go to the default conclusion. Any question concerning a leadership style would obviously be pride and arrogance. The more this artful dissemination of prideful humility was received, the more distance there was between the highest leaders and the movement's members. Not only was there a larger chasm being formed every year, but the power of the leader’s grew, dependence of their members grew even more.

One of the most telling things this was a significant art form is that other leaders and church movements around the world commended this group of churches on their humility. As a movement, we sure did talk about humility a lot. Because we were proud of it. Not only did some of these outside leaders commend our deep humility, but we were also promoted by some of these other leaders as a model to follow. After all, what would be a better model to emulate humility? This is another example of the rare gifting it took to perfect the art of prideful humility. If other significant leaders of denominations and scholars bought into our humility by promoting us as an example, you have an individual that has a rare art form at the top.

Another outgrowth of this power by leaders is a wrongful understanding on what is loyalty. From a biblical perspective true loyalty in this scenario would have been to confront in a grace filled way these wayward leaders. But the definition of loyalty became so twisted, the very thing that was biblical to do was turned upside down to a perverted meaning of loyalty. From firsthand experience whenever I would try bringing things to my immediate superior’s attention, the label disloyal, prideful, and arrogant was quickly asserted. When they wanted to discard someone that had the audacity to challenge them, this was the foregone conclusion of the reasoning. After all, how can a pastor who is disloyal, proud and arrogant continue? He is disqualified.

At this point there is a slippery slope downward where a lot of dead bodies lie kicked to the curb. You would have no idea how many good pastors, small group leaders, and wonderful church people were disposed of because they were full of pride and arrogance. Pastors and other leaders were being disposed at an alarming rate. Pretty much whoever disagreed with the top leaders or didn’t tow the line were expendable. The toll is massive, and it lingers for years in the people who were destroyed.

My termination was a long slow painful death. It culminated by advising a couple I knew well from a sister church to call the police because a very serious and horrific thing happened to one of their children. (They had been counseled by their church leaders to not call the police.) Of course, the leaders of this movement knew better than to tell me I was being terminated because of counseling someone to call the police in this scenario, but it wasn’t long after this situation the final blow was delivered about my pride and arrogance. This was after a steady dose of these conclusions being pounded in my head for 16 years. So naturally I was disqualified. Oh, and then there was always, “We don’t believe you’re sufficiently gifted to lead this church anymore.” That one was usually thrown in just to add a cherry on top to seal their case.

How did this happen? These leaders didn't just wake up one day and decide they were going to be power hungry, abusive in their authority, or running over people who dared to question them. It began with an over emphasis on the projection of humility publicly. One thing led to another and years later leaders began justifying things that they would have never dreamed.

True humility does not need to be promoted publicly. Biblical humility should be quiet, internal, displayed buy actions not words. Real humility doesn't need to be touted by others. A truly humble individual would be very uncomfortable with someone making mention of their wonderful character trait. The humble person carries others on their backs. Humility speaks by actions, not promotion.

Prideful humility can ultimately wind up being very destructive if carried out to its fullest degree. The larger the audience the greater the art form the individual needs to possess in carrying out such a hijacking of impressionable people on a mass scale.

Right now, the question you are probably asking is, “how can this happen?” I was asked that very question by a close friend recently. Without hesitation I told him, “It begins at the top.” There is one individual usually so highly gifted above the others close to him, he can mesmerize people that could potentially be lulled to sleep. Even those closest around within his inner circle. These high-level leaders were supposed to be watchmen for one another.

Another reason something like this can happen is when this inner circle of watchmen did not do their job. They fear the ramifications if they expose this individual for who he really is. Ultimately, these highest-level leaders craved their position and stature more than they did love the top leader or their constituents. In so many words, they did not want to upset the apple cart. The tragedy is, if the watchmen within the inner circle would have responded by going public to the greater constituency, much damage and reputation could have been saved. Of course, you go to this person in private. Then you take two or three, right? If he refuses to listen, bring him before the congregation. The problem lied in the fact that the third step was not enacted. Not at all. The contrary was being done. They were accommodating. They became enablers. What was going on behind the scenes was far from the humility that was being projected to the masses. There was an egotistical narcissist steering the ship. Anyone who tried to make an appeal for a course correction was thrown overboard. That my friends, is how you maintain your power and control. Look at any communist leader or dictatorship. When someone dares speak to question anything, they mysteriously disappear.

Prideful humility is an ungodly thing that needs to be corrected. When someone is proud by projecting a false humility on a small scale it can usually be addressed. Hopefully the individual receiving correction will respond in such a way they try to see it and change. But when prideful humility is set in motion by someone who is extremely gifted in communication and speaking publicly, it can do a massive amount of damage if not put in check. It seems that if an examination were given as to how many mega church leaders have fallen, there would undoubtedly be at the core of their life prideful humility.

In the old days of the original Star Trek series, one of Captain Kirk's greatest nemesis was the Romulans. At face value, the great captain Kirk and the Starship Enterprise would have destroyed any Romulan vessel showing aggression. But there was one very stealth and devious tool the Romulan’s had that captain Kirk at times had no answer for. The cloaking device. The Romulans could project a certain image, then instantly disappear. The Romulan’s could carry out their misinformed, prideful, and destructive motivations because their vessels were unseen by the good guys. The Captain of the Romulan vessel would merely state, “Engage cloaking device.” The Romulan ship was immediately cloaked and could not be seen. Captain Kirk had to figure out how to expose the cloaking devise for the Romulan ship to be seen for what it was. When he exposed it, the ship would immediately become visible on the screen. As soon as this ship appeared, Kirk would immediately command, “Fire Photon Torpedoes!” Then the Romulan vessel was taken out. I guess what I'm trying to say is an individual with extreme gifting to communicate can also have a cloaking device. A cloaking device can hide what lies beneath. The only thing you see is what is shown in public. But what you don't see behind the scenes is cloaked by the art of prideful humility.