Depression

Depression is a place no one wants to be. Many times, an individual suffering depression has no idea how they got there. If we could put our finger on the exact reasons why we have wound up in this dark place, the solution may be much easier. The fact is when someone is going through the depths of despair, the only thing they can accomplish is scratching and clawing getting from one day to the next.

There is a way to help someone experiencing depression. A good friend doesn't say a word at all. They merely make their presence known. A person wanting to be helpful doesn't try to figure out all the reasons why. What people need as they are struggling from one day to the next is understanding, compassion, acceptance and unconditional love.

Some of the most unhelpful things we can do to people suffering depression is offer our opinions, and much worse, potential culprits or reasons why. I remember being a part of a group of churches that didn't have much tolerance for any of its constituents’ suffering depression. This itself would have made people very tentative and intimidated to disclose their inward struggle. This mentality isolates a person who already feels lonely and despair. The trend of this group was pointing an individual to whatever sin was in their lives as a starting point. Another “go to” approach was pointing out the person suffering wasn’t trusting in God's sovereignty.

A popular book we used to hold high would basically tell people in depression for the most part, depression can be explained more by a lack of faith, not trusting God, or unresolved sin. Much damage was done. It seemed whenever someone would bring up the possibility of going on a medication, seeing a professional counselor, or doctor, they were less than. The idea of not trying to resolve your desperate state through the template leadership suggested was downright loathsome. This approach made people feel guilty, condemned, and shameful trying to seek out help through the medical community, medications, etc. The fact that there could have been legitimate chemical imbalances, serious pain from one's past, or reasons that were unknown were swept under the rug.

Remember what happened to Job? I am not comparing anyone to job. It would be hard to imagine any of us have suffered the way he did. But what I do want to draw attention to are Job's three friends. Do you remember how they related to him? The help they offered was to question Job by interrogating him where his sin lied and to explain this obvious judgment from God. How devastating! Job was already in such bad condition that he cursed the day of his birth. Imagine having three friends pressing in on all sides saying that it must be sin. None of us can understand how that would affect a person suffering in depression. Their perspective of God would no longer be merciful, kind and compassionate. Rather, he would be seen as a harsh, condemning, and a vengeful being. This can be a misguided attempt to help someone.

I remember when walking through the depths of despair. It was only about three years prior to writing this document. Paralyzed emotionally, numb, alone, and deserted. It’s not like one just wakes up one day and becomes deeply depressed. This spiraling down took place over many years. At the time, I had no idea how I got there. One memory was being at my oldest son’s wedding in the fall of 2019. It was all I could do just to make it there. Prior to going, I basically numbed myself with medication in order to get up enough strength to deal with people. At the reception the only thing I could do was hover in a corner by myself. Being a former church planter, pastor, leader of an international ministry, a very effervescent and communicative man, imagine such a man being paralyzed emotionally hovering in a corner hoping no one would come over to speak. If people at that time would have come to me and suggested that my problem was sin, lack of trust in the sovereignty of God, that might have been the final straw for me.

If you're suffering in depression, please listen to me. You are not alone. Even if you feel so. No matter what you've been told, God still loves you. The thought might be, “George, if you only knew my past and circumstances.” I can relate in some way because I was there in that deep dark place where you are now. It did not appear that escaping would be possible. But just as Elijah was in the dark cave pleading to be taken, God showed up. It was a sweet gentle breeze and he spoke to Elijah. I don't know when that gentle breeze will come. But listen for it. Don't believe the lies that other people, the enemy, or you believe about yourself. God made you in his image. God almighty sent his son to die for you in the condition where you are now. He will receive you with open arms.

The greatest thing about God is that he loves to place his grace on the down and out. The deeper and darker place that you are in, the more grace he gives. If you want God to be glorified in you, run to him. See him with open arms. You will get to the other side of this dark place. You can't see it now. When you get to the other side, better understanding will come in dealing with the underlying reason how and why you got there. Then you can get real help. If you want someone who will talk, you can join our various platforms at Safe Harbor Network. I guarantee someone has been where you are and would be willing to chat. God loves you. God bless you and keep you. You are his chosen. Don't ever forget that.